notanotherwoowoogirl

How did I become a Medium? Well, I was prescribed a cocktail of prescription drugs that opened pandora’s box for me to connect with Spirit. I later learned that I did enough work in therapy combining childhood wounds to adult behaviors and repaired the receptors in my brain. I also had committed to an anti-inflammatory lifestyle, used grounding techniques, meditation, yoga and walks in nature. Toward’s the end of my marriage I had become extremely sick, it went unnoticed, I was good at masking my physical/emotional pain and I did a lot of research to fight for a PCOS diagnosis I had been begging for the last ten years. I was extremely proud of myself; I was never trying to become a Medium I was just trying to feel better. 

 

How did I know I was becoming a Medium? My grandmother had a series of falls that had landed her in the hospital. I am just going to speak bluntly, I spent a lot of time in my back yard, smoking, napping in my swimming pool. You know when your body is asleep, but your mind is awake? When I was in that in-between conscious state, I felt like I could hear my grandmother’s voice speaking to me telling me how she wasn’t ready to die. The conversations I had with her in my dreams felt like the conversations we would have on the phone in real life. It simply felt like a vivid dream, but then it became enough of a pattern for me to start questioning what was happening.

 

Why did I go to therapy? I had made a series of toxic decisions that hurt a lot of people around me and the guilt, shame centered around it sent me back. I thought to myself at some point “If I don’t fix some these character traits and behaviors, I am never going to be able to have a healthy relationship and a normal life.” I had talked to my therapist openly “I feel like I am a psychic sometimes” “my dreams always warn me of things” “Sometimes I can see my sister’s father, but he is dead.” She had justified all these behaviors with a diagnosis of CPTSD. The first time I received that diagnosis I was nineteen years old “It is just hallucinations; your brain can trick you.” What I would like for people to take from this is I suffered in silence for a long time trying to understand how these things were possible before I ever broke down about them. 

What happened when I took the prescription drugs? I remember crying the second day I took my prescription “I feel like I got my old brain back.” I felt smart for the first time in my entire life, things felt easy again, I had energy, I was ready to start living again. The voices in my head prior to being put on a controlled substance were nothing more than an intrusive thought. Those thoughts calmed down and the voices were all the sudden so kind to me and I felt like I could see things clearly. I had a lot of things going on in my personal life that I no longer wish to speak about. I felt extremely unsafe, misunderstood and experienced a chain of events that led me into a state of paranoia. I had learned later that the two prescriptions should never have been prescribed together. I ended up being hospitalized and taken off my medication and I have stuck to holistic methods, routine and coping mechanisms to manage my mental health ever since. I was open about my spiritual beliefs while I was in the hospital and since then learned there is a lot of psychology and science to prove how it is possible. The entire experience was traumatizing, but I learned a lot about myself, and our mental health care system and I very publicly broke down about it.

                I can honestly say I was not in my right mind, the pain of what I had experienced was too much. I was now forced back into living in a state of fight or flight and I have woken up everyday since trying to find some peace and normalcy to my situation. Most the time I wanted to scream “this is not just your average divorce; most people don’t start talking to dead people” The whole situation was completely isolating, and I am thankful for the clients who have stuck by my side because they are what have kept me going. A handful of them have got to experience my gifts. 

 

Who was the first person I connected with Spirit?

                How the hell else do you think Katie Amos and I became best friends out of all people? One of the first things the voices had asked me to do was get back into painting. Our friendship started out completely genuine and we connected after she moved home after the tragic loss of her son Taylor. She had asked me if I ever thought of starting a podcast and I was really excited about my breakthrough in my mental health journey and I was ready to share it with the world. For the first time in years, I had goals that excited me for the future. We were sitting on my back deck one evening starting to map out all our ideas, topics, names “Jordan becomes a medium” was not on the list. As conversation continued, I was experiencing the feeling of “de ja vu” and everything we talked about seemed oddly connected, like I had this conversation already once before and I had, but in my dreams. Earlier that day I had found one of the only original paintings I had saved from ten years past and I thought and googled “How did I all of the sudden did I become good at painting overnight” I was surprised it actually had an answer for me and it was “A Spiritual Awakening” so I googled what that meant and I was like “Oh shit, this is true” I kept these thought to myself as Katie was speaking she was telling me how she didn’t pick a new years resolution, but a phrase. “Live amongst the wildflowers” I said, “Shut the fuck up” and I showed the painting I had found earlier that day, and it said, “live amongst the wildflowers” and I knew in that moment our connection was not ironic. 

                After the hospital I experienced a lot of exhaustion, depression and spent a lot of time self-isolating. I had never felt so alone in my life, but I wasn’t alone because the figures I once could see now had images of who they were in my head and a voice to talk to me. I was laying in bed and the voice said “You’re clairvoyant” I can’t lie I had to google what that even meant. Katie had told me how she had met with a couple of mediums, but nobody thus far had been able to connect her with her son and I boldly looked at her in the face and said “Katie I need to explain to you what has been happening to me, but I think I am that medium, I think I can connect you with your son.” I am sure at first, she thought I was insane, but after having conversations with her and being able to share with her visions of events that had happened to her that she had not shared with me, in detail, things I absolutely had no way of knowing on my own. Once I was able to make the connection that it was Taylor showing me these visions, a sweet, small childlike voice appeared and for someone who didn’t get to spend the time he deserved on this earth with his mother it has been an honor to be able to bring Katie healing through helping her communicate with her son. That moment people have when they realize they are truly connected to their past loved one, that sigh of relief, that crack in their voice as they speak through tears makes all the judgment and fear worth it for me to publicly share my story and use my gifts to help others heal. 

 

How does this work for me?  Well, I had to learn and there is no schooling for this. I am not Long Island Medium, and I do not walk around connecting every person I know, Spirit wouldn’t allow for that and not everyone wants a message. Spirit is usually a good judge on when it is safe for me to communicate if I have made a connection, it works based off my comfortably and yours. The more open minded you are to letting me in, the more of a connection I can get. I have had to make new friends along the way and each person I have close to me in my life currently I have connected with Spirit, and they are willing to review/talk about their experiences with me. 

What is a Tarot card reading? I had been going to a Psychic Medium for reading around my birthday for the last several years and I always left feeling like I had more clarity than when I walked in the door. You can do this one on one, or in groups, I feel like the less people in the room the more that reading is catered specifically to you. You hold the deck of cards and to be honest it feels silly, but you sit in thought while shuffling the cards and then you break them into three piles with your left hand, to the left. That is when I and Spirit take over and we channel out what the cards mean for you. I will be completely honest with you when I first started, I couldn’t tell you what any of those cards meant, meaning I can do this with just conversation, but it makes it a lot easier with them. 

What does it feel like for me when I am doing a Tarot card reading? It feels like I am having a conversation about life with a friend, I get visions in my head like a daydream, and they give me an idea of what they might be struggling with subconsciously. It then feels like there is a person standing in the room with me, telling me everything they want to say to their loved one and I am just the interpreter. I will be honest sometimes Spirit talks so quickly, that not everything I say I will make complete sense to you, but about 95% of it is going to be right and the other 5% is what I call “Spiritual Puzzle Piecing” where I slow down, ask question and I can get more direct answers. Tarot card readings are an opportunity to ask about relationships, career advice and how to break psychological patterns and even holistic health choices (I will never give someone medical advice I am not a doctor, or trained therapist) 

What is a Medium reading? It is different than a tarot card reading it means that you’re trying to connect with someone across the veil specifically. In these types of situations, honestly the less I know before I meet with you the better the reading is. It is a lot easier for me to sit down and see who shows up. If you’re wanting to talk with specific people having an item of theirs does help me pull more of a spiritual connection. These readings come with validations of your loved one’s presence, meaning they will bring up memories, items and things and the bonus part is it will be so specifically designed it won’t be anything that I could possibly know on my own or look up on social media. Once I have made the connection, I then can communicate a message for them. 

What does it feel like for me when I connect with Spirit? Kind of like a panic attack, my heart starts thumping my legs get a little shaky, a blanket of warmth fills my face, and I know Spirit is there. Don’t worry, it doesn’t stay like that for me the whole time, but I believe that is why I have a hard time connecting with people at the studio because it takes a lot of energy, and I must be able to make a living to support myself. A white light appears in my brain, then images of the past loved ones start coming through showing me what they look like, as they start talking about their personality and accent starts coming through. I have always loved different accents and when channeling them sometimes I can even act out their personalities for you. I have connected Spirit with people in several ways, I have written detailed letters, I have done voice recordings, and I have just sat down and have had conversations with people. Some of these people are my friends and some of these people are strangers to me, each message is completely healing for both me and the loved one receiving the message. 

 

How has the affected my life? Connecting with Spirit and becoming a Medium at the age of twenty-nine wasn’t exactly on my Jumanji calendar. I very publicly broke down on social media about it because at the time I was mentally broken down, my whole life fell apart, and I had loved ones who refused to talk to me, and I was going to be heard one way or another. I was ignorant of the culture behind it and wasn’t prepared for people who I had grown up with my whole life to send me some of the messages that they did or walk away from me. I knew in my heart I was a good person; I knew I didn’t do anything purposefully to become a medium, I knew everyone probably just thinks I am an addict/mentally ill, I did lose it there for a while, I own that, but it was so painful, and it took me awhile before I felt normal again. It has taken me awhile to be able to forgive myself and that’s become easier with time, getting my nervous track system regulated again, coming to terms with what I had just experienced was traumatizing and giving myself enough time and grace to realize what happened to me was not my fault although I am responsible for my actions. When there is nobody else around you who is experiencing something wildly unheard of, that a lot of people don’t even believe in, the other half of the people now think you sold your soul to satin it left me very lost, very hopeless and confused and the only thing that made sense was to try and use my gifts to repair my life. That is why the people who have come to my side, picked me up, accepted me and stayed by me through this will forever hold a special place because I wouldn’t be here without them. 

There were more books for me to read to understand how this happened to me than I ever thought were possible. I remember thinking “So this happens to enough people that there are books about it?” trust me I find it just as crazy as everyone else. I really wanted to run away from here, I wanted to start over somewhere new, where nobody knew my name because starting fresh where it is more culturally appropriate would be the smart thing to do. That takes time, money and energy that I don’t have and after all this what I realized is that I don’t want to give up on my passion for hair because I think being a hairstylist is what makes me a great medium, I want to fight to get my life back to as normal as possible and for people to see that I am the same person that I have always been I just have these super cool gifts now and I want to help people with them. I want to welcome as many new people in my life that accept what I do, and I want to have the strength to be able to handle the criticism from the people who don’t because my skin is not as thick as it has always been. When you’re in your hometown and it is the fastest growing suburb in America you realize that there are more people moving here that are going to be “my kind of people” I had to muster up the strength in me to be vulnerable to throw myself out there and start growing my gift’s. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t scared, but with the way it makes people feel when I am done with a session, I know it will make it worth it and I am just going to have to do it scared. 

 

What has this done to my Faith? I get asked this question a lot. For as hard as it for people to wrap their brain around it solidifies it. Before any of this happened to me, I went to the beach, I turned on Jelly Rolls, Save Me about a thousand times on that trip. I got up every morning and went down to the beach and I prayed “If this is really my situation, if this is really what is happening to me, if I am really unsafe than God I need a sign, I need to see a light at the end of the tunnel and I need your help.” I repeated it almost a thousand times. When I got back from that trip, that’s when my dreams kicked in and everything went down hill from there. If I could put you in my mind, show you what I was experiencing, the pain I was feeling, and all the things I have overcome in the last year you would believe in God too. The moment I connected with Spirit for the first time I thought “If the afterlife is real, so is God and that means what you say, do and how you spend your time on this earth matters” So to be blunt with you, after experiencing the things I have, seeing the things I delt with and doing the things I do I will never question my faith. The bonus part is I respect yours no matter what, although I would call myself Spiritual and not religious, I think learning about all the different cultures/religions is really enlightening and I think we all need something to believe in, model ourselves too and have community no matter what that looks like for you.

What do I plan to do with it? Well, I am creating this here website to open and blog about my experiences while also sharing testimonies from people that I have worked with to validate that my gifts are real and that I am not just full of bullshit. I have spent the last year and half using my gifts for free, developing my skills so that I can start working towards being a medium. I am starting at a new salon that is more affordable for me and I would like to start with a clean slate and keep my spiritual work separated from that atmosphere because I know what I do doesn’t make everyone comfortable, but there is room in my life for me to be able to grow both businesses. So, if you would like to be a client of mine, I would love to be your stylist too, but hair/healing must be sold separately until I am in a different position to do so. I never lost my passion for hair, but I did lose my passion for people and had not mentally been able to market for new clients. I would love this to be one of the final steps I take into repairing my life after what it has thrown my way. I have been fighting for a long time to get back to being myself and I finally don’t feel as scared to throw myself out there, knowing that there is a place for me out in this world to peruse my dreams and people who support me. I just had to find my way back to myself again and I am getting closer to her every day. I am proud of myself, and I think once people hear more of my words, reading more of my experiences, you will be proud of me too. I don’t expect to break culture barriers, I don’t even expect everyone to believe in me. I just want to create a world where I feel loved, safe and free to be authentically me and I feel like I am one step closer to that every day.